Remember the hub caps which I so bravely put through the dishwasher? Well I've lost them. I last had them when I took them from the dishwasher and put them "somewhere safe". Normally I'd just ask my wife if she knows where they are. However the next question would be " Well where did you last have them". See the problem?
Have you ever noticed that the more apparently trivial the task the longer it sometimes takes? All I wanted to do was get the sidelights working, together with the indicators and the rest. The headlights worked already.
In the beginning nothing worked because the wires were all dangling loose inside the front and rear wings. This afforded the opportunity to proceed in a logical and orderly way ( a concept frankly foreign to me) so I got out the meter and started testing. As I switched each function on I established which wires became live and marked them accordingly. So far so good. Of course I couldn't do this with the brake lights since I can't reach the pedal and the boot at the same time but I had a reserve strategy for that. Having established which live feeds were which I concluded that the remaining wires, which were conveniently black, must be the earths and I connected them all up accordingly. Result nothing.
Having established that half the bulbs were broken and the other half were missing I took a trip to the shop to buy more, taking the old ones as examples to ensure getting the right ones. Yes I know it would have been better to go to a decent shop but the local back street merchant is nearer and it was near closing time so that's where I went. Accordingly when I tried the stop/brake bulbs they wouldn't fit. The little pips were in the wrong places. No problem, I just filed one off and it fitted a treat. Didn't work but it fitted.
Next day I went to Halford's and got a whole set of the right ones from the catalogue. They didn't work either but the meter told me there was an earth problem and once a jury earth was rigged most of the bulbs lit up. The problem was of course that film of corrosion which forms on all car bulb holders when not used for some time. Much elbow grease with a polishing rag got most of the lamps up and running and fixing earth wires across the worst lamps fixed the rest. The brake and reverse lights didn't go but as both sides failed despite demonstrable earths the switches were favourite and sure enough both had a wire loose. I turned out the garage lights and shut the door and basked in the glow of reflected rear lights. The only remaining problem ( apart from the fact that I forgot to do the numberplate light) is that the right and left indicators flash at different rates. More polishing I suspect.
And so to the exhaust which was loosely fitted earlier. In a moment of idleness I decided to risk just tightening rather than undo the lot and apply paste to the joins. Big mistake since it still leaks. (When you run the engine to tests for leaks and then fix them doesn't the pipe get very hot very quickly?) Now I'll have to undo a very tight set of joints instead of loose ones.
It now dawned on me that, since all systems worked after a fashion, the car could be driven. So one sunny day I fired her up, tentatively engaged gear and edged out into the sunshine. I have 80 yards of drive and another 80 yards of unmade drive between me and the road so I had a fine old time for a while. Then I swung enthusiastically round past where my neighbour parks his car and remembered that this model has no power steering. I felt I missed him by a mile but I noticed he moved it pretty quickly. Anyway I triumphantly replaced the car in the garage and retired for a celebratory drink.
The next free day I set off to fix the exhaust. On the way to the garage however I chickened out and decided to fit the sills instead. They simply screw into speed nuts or plastic plugs situated in the inner sill. Many of the speed nuts were still there and the rest of the holes I had plugs for . Surprisingly the holes in the upper edge of the new sills actually corresponded with the screw holes so fitting was a doddle. Until, that is I came to fix the lower edge. The sills were hanging beautifully in line with the surrounding panels, with all gaps straight and equal. The bottom edge however was a good two inches from the lower inner sill where they should fix. There is a swage line in the sill which should bend by at least another thirty degrees for a perfect fit. The bending between two lengths of angle iron should be easy (remember the saga of the two vices?) What a pity I had the sills painted before trial fitting!!
I gave up for now and fitted a new bit of petrol pipe from the pump to the carbs since loads of air was getting in somewhere. I got the pipe from the spare engine so it's made for the job. Since however the air gets in before the pump it made not a bit of difference. I'll have a bit of pipe made up to fit from the pump backwards. When looking for the pipe I did at least find the hubcaps. Stuffed in a carrier bag in a spider infested corner. I had to wash them again in a bucket. I was however moved to fit them and get the car out for a photo so you dear reader may see the full current glory. The photo is of the off side because the near side is short of chrome window trim and devoid of hubcaps!
Suitably self congratulatory I couldn't resist another spin up and down the lane. I even stopped across everyone's access to discuss at some length with my neighbour how well the engine was running and how you really can't hear the exhaust knocking from the outside and what a big beast it is and what a b**ger it would be to push without many willing hands. And then it ran out of petrol.